If you know me, you’re likely privy to the fact that I’m often caught saying ‘I wish I was American.’
Never feeling like a true, patriotic Canadian at heart – I’ve asked my parents countless times, “You’re SURE I was born on Canadian turf?”
Spoiler Alert: the answer is about as consistent as the ending of the Titanic movie.
Of course, with each year comes the American Thanksgiving (which pretty much tramples our Thanksgiving – Godzilla style) and I spend the better part of Thursday, Black Friday, and the weekend coveting your table spreads, drooling over your food, in awe of your traditions and wishing I was shopping with some of my favorite Americans and braving the masses.
Yes, I’m speaking to you, my American friends and followers.
So in honor of your perfect holiday (truly, I’m jealous) here are 10 uniquely all-american things I am thankful for this American Thanksgiving.
1. Cheez-its. No, we do not have these in Canada. Yes, these are the best little cracker put on this planet.
2. Your Cheap Liquor. Even greater than your cheaper gas (yes, that’s a thing) is your cheap booze. Seriously, I don’t know how you do it but the Canadian liquor agencies could learn a thing or not.
3. Your Far Superior Ben & Jerry’s Flavors. Creme Brûlée. Red Velvet. I could go on forever baby.
4. In & Out. Yup, I am talking about the burger chain. A favorite of mine when I lived in the SouthWest – it’s probably a good thing we don’t have In & Out in Canada (or in my city for that matter) as all control would be lost.
5. Your Starbucks is Hotter. True story – order a latte in the USA and it’s guaranteed to be much hotter (too hot to drink) far longer than one in Canada. Especially helpful if you’re travelling from your local Starbucks to the office.
6. Your Weather. Ok, so this is correlated to the location but nowhere in Canada is safe from snow. Not even Vancouver. You have plenty of landspace with sun and warm temperatures to choose from. Which brings me to my next item on the list.
7. Hawaii. Self-Explanatory.
8. Netflix. Hulu. Need I go on? Again, everything is better in America.
9. Dollar Bills. Let me count the ways I hate the Loonie and would gladly trade my Canadian monopoly money for yours any day.
10. My Best Friends. America holds within it some of my favorite people in the world. Today especially, I’m beyond thankful for every single one of them.
To all of my Americanos – wishing you a very Happy Thanksgiving.
Please eat way too much turkey, pie, and stuffing and drink far too much booze on my behalf please.